mlp song parodies
by fluttershyfan2.0
Summary: bart baker parodies but they're ponyfied. rated T for cursing and violence along with nakedness. non human nor anthro. I hate that S**t!
1. happy parody

_[pinkie pie:]_  
I'm forty-one but look like I am eight  
Thirty-two pounds is how much I weigh  
My hat's so big you can see it from space  
And this song's so overplayed it will drive you insane

Cue awful dancing  
Clap along if you love watching people who can't dance  
My style is tacky  
I look like Smokey the Bear in this ridiculous brown hat  
This song's so crappy  
That it's used by the Army to torture the changlings  
I'm so unhappy  
But you'd never know because I just did a shit ton of crack

I really owe the colt and rainbow dash  
'Cause without them I'd be irrelevant

_[the colt:]_  
You need to polish my dick until it shines

_[Rainbow dash:]_  
But before that let's snort some blurred lines

_[All:]_  
We're way too happy

_[Pinkie pie:]_  
Clap along if you're high and you just wanna clap

_[All:]_  
We're way too happy  
The only way to stand this song is to take ecstasy and do smack  
Happy, happy, happy

_[Pinkie pie:]_  
Apparently saying the same word ninety times guarantees a smash

_[All:]_  
Happy, happy, happy

_[princess celestia:]_  
Holy shit, I love happiness  
Please take all of my hard-earned cash

_[Pinkie pie:]_  
I'm shaking now  
Did so much speed  
Have to make sure that I stay happy  
So I can brainwash humanity  
With this dumb song and then  
Sell more CDs

_[twilight:]_  
Stop, I'm here to sue Pinkie  
I'm a Prozac attorney  
The whole world's happy because of this goddamn song  
And our drug sales are tanking

_[rarity:]_  
Freeze, Style Police  
Pinkie, you're under arrest for that fugly-ass brown headpiece

_[Pinkie pie:]_  
But it's trendy

_[rarity:]_  
It's way too big for your head  
You look like an ad for Arby's

_[fluttershy:]_  
Girls, stop arguing  
Pinkie, I got your tests back and found out why your hat looks so big  
You are shrinking  
That is also why your voice sounds like a prepubescent filly

_[pinkie pie:]_  
What are you saying?

_[fluttershy:]_  
According to this chart  
You have ten more seconds to live

_[Pinkie:]_  
Doc, please help me

_[fluttershy:]_  
There's nothing that can be done  
Say goodbye to your fake happiness

_[rarity:]_  
Thank God that horrible song is over! Now, will someone please get in here and burn that fucking hat?

* * *

**to the song and music video of bart baker's happy parody.**


	2. we can't stop parody

[Discord]

Her name's applejack she started on Disney used to be so innocent and so sweet but now all she wants to do is party put in fake golden teeth and act really trashy.

[applejack]  
This song is to let everybody know  
I'm totally out of control and I try to pick up more black fans by acting ratchet and shaking my ass  
Tweeting skanky pics everyday check out my va jay jay and I'm gonna twerk all night all I need's my crack pipe  
Alright!  
So la da di da di who has some molly?  
Give it to applejack because I really love drugs.

[applebloom]  
applejack's so cool!

[sweetie bell]  
"Let's do drugs too!"

[applejack]  
I am desperate for attention that is why I made this video acting like a classless sex crazed ho  
I was country now I'm slutty.  
If it wasn't for my daddy I'd be flipping burgers at Wendy's  
Yea yea!  
Her name's applejack and she got a haircut now she looks like Ellen DeGeneres she's having an identity crisis Hannah Montana must have really messed her up  
_[My Daughter is going to Hell]_  
With my homegirls shaking my fat ass

[applelossians]  
We are not your homegirls and yo ass flat. I mean come on you a rich white chick this whole urban act is obnoxious and racist

[applejack  
This is rainbow dash my finance

[rainbow dash]  
"Honey please stop acting like a drunk skank!"

[applejack]

I'm so high and horny gonna make out with a barbie.  
So la da di da di I stick out my tongue more than anyone because I think it looks hot

[pinkie pie & fluttershy]  
"No it does not! Goddamnit stop!"

[rainbow dash]  
"This is softcore internet porn."

[applejack]  
Shut up rainbow dash and pour me more wine.

[rainbow dash]  
"Who the hell invited rarity?"

[rarity]  
You're all ugly compared to me especially applejack and fluttershy.

[applejack]

At least I'm not a bipolar Twitter whore fake.

[rarity]  
You skank!

[discord]  
Oh snap Amanda just tackled Miley now those crazy bitches are wrestling this is one extremely messed up party, oh shit Miley just ripped out Amanda's piercings.  
God please help us now they both are twerkin' and both of their mouths just started foamin' looks like they did way too much heroin.  
I am done narratin' this is too disgustin'

[applejack/ autotuned]

Hey hey

[applelossian]  
So huh, you're marrying that?

[rainbow dash]  
Unfortunately.

* * *

**we can't stop parody by bart baker**


	3. wrecking ball parody

_[applejack]_

remember when I was a ten and did not look like a guy  
My hair was long, I had clothes on  
But now I get nude and cry

Since the VMA's all the people say  
I am a total skank

Grinded discord made the whole crowd sick  
Especially the twilight's

I'm basically a wrecking ball for the youth of equestria

All I want is to brainwash them all with my massive nipples under my tee

_[CMC]_  
We must be like Miley

_[applejack]_  
Now watch me ride a ball and try to make a seductive face  
But creepily I totally look just like Nicholas Cage

Time for me to lick this hammer like it's a big metal penis  
I'll lick anything for more attention this condom looks delish

_[pinkie pie]_  
I've been looking for this, put some god damn clothes on. You sicko!  
(eats condom)

I'm naked on a wrecking ball showing off my pale boobs and butt  
Now I'm dry humping a broken wall  
I went to Disney to twerk crazed and skanky  
I need to get therapy

_[twilight sparkle]_  
Excuse me I'm here for the p0rn  
Bend over girl let's make this quick

_[applejack]_  
What do you mean? This is not p0rn

_[twilight sparkle]_  
Then why the hell are you naked?

_[applejack]_  
Because I'm a wannabe whore who sluts it up to get more views.

_[twilgiht sparkle]_  
So that means we don't have to screw?

"THANK GOD!"

_[applejack]_  
Excuse me!

_[twilight sparkle]_  
You are too dirty for twilight sparkle. Sorry sweetie it's true.

_[applejack]_  
I ruined a beautiful song with a disgusting video.

_[rarity]_  
OK, this has gone on way too long. You, need to get off our – our construction site.

_[fluttershy]_  
How do you expect us to work with a crazy anorexic chick swinging naked from our equipment.

_[rarity]_  
And licking and humping everything she sees.

_[applejack]_  
Sorry, but I'm not leaving.

_[fluttershy]_  
Oh, no, now she's twerking.

_[fluttershy & rarity]_  
Dear, god, just kill us now please!

_[fluttershy]_  
Thank's dashie.

_[rainbow dash]_  
Believe me, it was my pleasure.

* * *

**wrecking ball parody by bart baker.**


	4. thrift shop parody

_[rarity]_

Wut wut wut wut  
Wut wut wut wut  
Wut wut wut wut  
Wut wut wut wut  
I got a nasty rash  
Probably from wearing this gross used jacket  
Front pocket  
Just found a used condom  
Guess I should've washed it

Walkin' into the club like  
"Wait, what? I think that I'm lost"  
I'm messed up and smell like piss from the thrift shop  
Wipe the dandruff with so much swag  
The people like:  
"Damn, that's a gross ass cracker"

Wearing these used panties  
Hope you don't get a disease  
Who gives a shit?  
Got 'em with these shoes, super cheap  
Those really stink  
Said a girl sitting next to me  
You look like you're homeless  
And what is that on your jeans?  
Jizzzz  
But hey, pretty sure it's aids free

They had a bloody sweater  
I bought a bloody sweater  
Since I've been wearing it  
My stomach is starting to hurt

Hello, hello my shin's turning yellow

Oh, thats the hepatitis  
It comes with all of the clothes  
Now I'm feeling real sick  
Gonna puke on my toes  
The sneakers head will be like:  
"AH! Not on the Velcros!"

_[rainbow dash]_  
I don't know where I am  
Does someone knows how to get to Mc Donalds?  
I got lost, now I'm in the thrift shop  
This is fucking awful

_[rarity]_  
I can help you with that  
I just found a big mac in my back pocket  
Oh needle, I also found a needle

_[rainbow dash]_  
This tastes fucking awful

_[rarity]_  
What you know about having a really bad hair-do?  
What you know about getting cramps from my hat, dude?  
I'm diggin', I'm diggin'

I'm searchin' right through this dumpster

This dead cat would go perfect with my shirt!

Thank your grandad for donating his old dirty dentures  
Even though my mouth really hurts  
Are you okay, man?  
I think you should see a doctor  
Nah, I'll be fine  
I don't need no god damn doctor

My hands are turning black  
I can't feel my pussy  
I got gonorrhea and the clap  
Oh man, it stings like a mothafucka  
I think the bugs are biting in this mothafucka

_[sweetie belle]_

Okay, honestly dude  
Stop saying mothafucka!

_[rarity]_

I just lost all my feelings in my legs now  
I can't walk so I'm crawlin' on the damn ground  
Stop playing saxophone  
And help me get back up so I can go back to the club and show off my clothes

_[sweetie belle]_  
Dude, you're bleeding from your nose!  
Your mouth is full of foam!

_[rarity]_

I don't care man, let's go!

_[fluttershy]_  
rarity looks like plot  
I think she needs a thrift shop intervention  
He is green and he is seizuring  
We need to talk to him  
We think you need rehab  
This is getting real bad  
Stop buying diseased clothes  
From the thrift shop down the road

[rarity]

But they're incredible  
And they blahblahblah

_[sweetie belle]_

She needs a hospital!

_[fluttershy]_  
Lets take her, it's down the road

_[rarity]_

Where my arms and legs go?!

_[doctor whooves]_

We cut off all your limbs  
They were infected from the gross clothes you bought  
You almost died  
You're lucky to be alive

_[pinkie pie]_

Yo, where's the nearest thrift shop?

_[rarity_

You know, there's actually one right down the road

_[pinkie pie]_  
Dude, thanks man  
Hella dope parody by the way

_[doctor whooves]_

Dude was that pinkie pie?

* * *

**thrift shop pardoy by bart baker.**


	5. I knew you were trouble parody

_fluttershy:]_  
Once upon a time, before I was insane.  
I dated this fashionista, rarity was her name.  
But he broke up with me,  
_[rarity:]_  
You're just way too creepy, plus I found someone else, her name's Miney. (HO HO)  
_[fluttershy:]_  
So, I wrote a song about her stupid plot.  
Then, found this mare named pinkie,  
but that was over fast.  
If you don't marry me, I will pull out your teeth!  
_[pinkie:]_  
You're totally crazy.  
_[fluttershy:]_  
No!  
_[pinkie:]_  
Yes!  
_[fluttershy:]_  
No!  
_[pinkie:]_  
Yes!  
_[fluttershy:]_  
Maybe...  
she hit me with his guitar, and she said that "we are through."  
Just you wait, until I write a song about you!  
Then, I met that twilight buckalot,  
and was obsessed right away!  
_[twilight:]_  
You've sent me 1,000 messages!  
and that's just from today!  
_[fluttershy:]_  
Oh, that's because I'm having your baby!  
_[twilight:]_  
What?! But, you don't even put out  
_[fluttershy:]_  
Stop questioning me, sparkey,  
or I'll punch you 6 feet underground!  
_[twilight:]_  
WHOA! WHOA!  
Psycho, psycho, psycho!  
_[fluttershy:]_  
Fine, go! It's good material  
Next came applejack, I think she was fifteen.  
I bought the house next door,  
to watch you constantly, and also to make sure.. You never ever cheat!  
_[applejack:]_  
OMG! We are done, you are scary!

_[fluttershy:]_  
dashie was my last, that wonderbolt freak.  
I taped her to my wall, so she could never leave.  
_[dashie:]_  
Someone call the police!  
You're insane we are through!  
_[fluttershy:]_  
You're just like all the rest!  
What did I do to you?!  
So I used, my stalker app.  
To track down, all of those pricks.  
The next song I write I'll use, their blood as my ink! Hey!  
_[twilight:]_  
Holy crap, that nut job just bursted in!  
_[Ex-marefriends:]_  
Ahh!  
_[fluttershy:]_  
What the hell is this?  
_[Ex-marefriends:]_  
It's a support group for all the mares.  
You wrote songs about, you bitch!  
_[fluttershy:]_  
What? I have not written about dashie yet.  
_[dashie:]_  
I am just planning ahead.  
_[pinkie:]_  
Why are you even here anyway?  
_[fluttershy:]_  
To finish you all off with my pen!  
_[Ex-marefriends:]_  
No, no, devil, devil, devil.  
_[fluttershy:]_  
Oh, oh, It's true, I'm the devil!  
_[Doctor whooves:]_  
OK! that's enough.  
You were right, she's nuts.  
You are coming with us.  
_[fluttershy:]_  
Wait, what?  
Get off of me, I'm not crazy!  
AH!  
_[Ex-marefriends:]_  
It worked!  
This was all a trick, we knew you would come.  
So, we hired this doctor.  
_[Doctor whooves:]_  
You're going to an insane asylum,  
based on the behavior I observed.  
_[fluttershy:]_

Oh, oh, Let me go, you assholes!  
_[Assholes:]_  
No! No!  
_[Doctor whooves:]_  
Welcome to your new home.  
_[Miney]_  
Haha, so you're crazy too, huh?

* * *

**inspired by bart baker I knew you were trouble parody.**


End file.
